What do you do when intrusive thoughts hit you? How do you navigate the bad days — the days when you feel tired, moody, overwhelmed, and unable to deal with anything or anyone?
Some days I feel amazing. Productive. Clear. Strong.
And then the very next day, I can feel down in the dumps, irritated, and mentally exhausted. For a long time, it made me feel like I had two different versions of myself living inside me.
Just like those old cartoons with an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other, I felt torn. I used to think something was wrong with me — like I had two personalities battling it out. One moment I was fine, and the next moment intrusive thoughts would pop into my head out of nowhere. Thoughts that made me stop and think, “WOW… where did that come from?”
“Kick that trash can.”
“Crash into that tree.”
“Do something reckless.”
Or the darker pull — the version of me that craved partying, drinking, drugs, sex, anything that promised a “good time” but always left me feeling empty and ashamed afterward.
Looking back, those cartoons weren’t wrong — that was the enemy whispering lies into my mind. The battle wasn’t between two personalities. It was spiritual warfare.
I used to justify everything.
And by “drinking,” I don’t mean a glass of wine. I mean a whole bottle of tequila.
I would tell myself, “My friends drink like this. My family drinks like this. So it must be fine.” Right?
If I wanted it badly enough, I could always find a way to tell myself it was “okay” — even when I knew it wasn’t okay in God’s eyes. And every time, after the moment passed, the guilt would hit, and I’d pray, “God, I won’t do it again.”
But I was stuck in an exhausting cycle of temporary happiness, anger, anxiety, depression, and shame. A roller coaster of emotions. And eventually, I got tired of it. I wanted real change — not surface-level, not temporary, but deep, permanent transformation.
So I shifted what I allowed into my heart and mind.
I stopped feeding myself mindless, numbing entertainment and replaced it with worship, sermons, gospel-centered messages, and educational podcasts. And it changed everything.
Slowly, my mind started to heal. My thoughts began to clear. And I learned something life-changing:
How to give it all to God.
Now, when an intrusive thought appears, I immediately bring it to Jesus.
I pray for a clear mind, and I give Him my anger, my anxiety, my fears, my desires, my sadness, my temptations — everything. Every human thought, every messy emotion, every craving, every weakness.
I don’t hide any part of myself from Him.
I can’t. He already sees it all.
And He doesn’t judge me — He helps me.
God wants us to bring Him the parts of us that feel broken, ugly, sinful, or heavy.
He wants the whole heart, not just the pretty parts.
And the more I surrender to Him, the lighter I feel.
The more I release, the straighter my path becomes.
My life no longer feels like a roller coaster. I’m not stumbling in the dark anymore. I’m walking a well-lit path that God has laid out for me — and it’s my job not to wander from it.
The more I surrender, the more I hear Him.
The more I listen, the more He leads.
The more I trust Him, the more my love and passion for Him grow.
Today, I can boldly say:
I am blessed abundantly because I give everything to God — every single day.
And if He can transform me, He can transform you too. Just start with this simple, powerful prayer:
“God, I give it all to You.”
With love and grace,
Rough & Revived
Kayla
